Kids come right off the cabbage patch with the SAME intelligence, the SAME emotional strength as we do, but WITHOUT the experience with which to guide this prodigious power.

Therefore, their perspectives are NOT the same as ours.

I am often asked: “Would you rather be a kid, or a grownup?”

Hands-down, I say, GROWNUP.

I can drive, in my own convertible, to the grocery store, and buy myself a can of cake frosting, and I don’t have to even bake a cake. I can just get a spoon, and eat the frosting if I want.

No one can stop me.

Kids have to ask permission even to EAT.

“Mom? Can I have a sandwich?”

Many kids can’t even reach the tap for a glass of WATER.

What incredible powerless we take totally for granted. Imagine if you couldn’t even drink water without help? Imagine how horribly frustrated you would be all the time?

Of course, we, as adults, need to balance this FOR them. We can’t just let toddlers at the china and say “Go at it, I know how awful you must feel.”

We need to teach them responsibility – but ALWAYS, ALWAYS, let us keep in mind the frustration they constantly feel, and try to keep positive always with them.

Remember always to “catch them doing something GOOD.”

Remember how they’d rather be outside playing, than inside learning dates of battles.

Short Attention Span

I have a short attention span

I get distracted easily

I’m not that good at listening

That’s what my teachers say to me.

My mother says it’s X-Box games

My dad says it’s cartoons.

My older sister only yells

And shoos me from her room.

I really cannot stand it though

That staring at the board,

That swimmy, sinking feeling

When your brain begins to roar.

The teacher’s talking battles,

Like a lullaby, it seems,

How is it he can make a sleepy sound

Of every fighting scene?

Didn’t they have Ninjas

In the War of 1812?

If they didn’t, well, they should have.

It would make a better sell.

They can yell at me forever

They can shake their heads and frown,

But the sky will still be out there

Even if the shades are down.

If I were tall, and teaching

I would try to understand

How the sky and sunlight pull on us

How we try the best we can.

In the meantime, there’s the window,

And eventually, the door,

Someday I will be a teacher

With the window shades up more.

© 2005 Elizabeth Bushey

Download the new InklessTales.com Birthday Party Invitations E-Book.

Fifteen pages of way-cool, ready-to-print party pages, from Alice in Wonderland to Movie Diva to Karate Kid. The party starts when the invitation is sent – so check out this neat e-book of party starters.

Money-saving, too: two invites per page make it cheaper to print from home.

Only $5.95, ready to download right away.

Fun, Easy, (Mostly) Free Activities for Your Kids

Over 20 pages of FREE activities for a variety of ages to keep them interested in all weather – educational, brain-stimulating activities that give parents a bit of a breather and give kids’ imaginations a burst of creativity.

Only $2.95.

Watch: “Follow the Drinking Gourd,” performed by Elizabeth Williams Bushey” on YouTube.

(For more videos, visit the InklessTales Channel here: youtube.com/inklesstales)

There are a lot of Americans who debate whether or not “Black History Month,” which is celebrated in America every February, is a good idea or not.

While certainly the achievements of African-Americans are absolutely important and worthy of note, as well as those of Hispanic, Native Americans, et. al., has the time not yet come when we can celebrate their ACHIEVEMENTS, and not ALSO that they are African-American?

Well, a person can ask, anyway.

If these achievements were happening today, maybe. Today, we’re a lot closer to realizing Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream of people being judged by the “content of their character,” rather than by the color of their skin – although my own family’s recent move from a very diverse neighborhood in New York to an all-white neighborhood in northern California shocked my oldest daughter recently when a classmate of her made THIS comment:

“You know, we had a black principal a few years ago.”

My daughter shrugged, since to her, this was truly no big deal.

“Well,” the naive classmate replied, “you just don’t think of principals as being black.”

Sigh. I guess we DO need to keep celebrating American Black History Month.

Especially because at the time these spectacular achievements were undertaken, most of these people were not only accomplishing feats that were staggering for people of ANY color – but they were doing them under the burden of enormous prejudice.

Take Peg Leg Joe, for instance, one of the greatest unsung heroes of the Underground Railroad’s mammoth effort to free slaves during the Civil War. NASA.gov estimates he saved nearly half a million lives with his coded song, “Follow the Drinking Gourd.”

Every time he lied his way onto another plantation to teach that simple, cleverly coded song to slaves, so they might follow the instructions embedded in it to the north, and to freedom, he risked his OWN life and freedom.

Yep. We still need to celebrate. Every year.

By Elizabeth Williams Bushey

www.inklesstales.com

Last week I cleared a bunch of shrubbery for my daughter’s Alice In Wonderland party. The backyard looks terrific, but despite the latex gloves I wore to protect myself, the tank top I wore to keep cool didn’t protect my arms from the poison ivy I failed to recognize, due to my city-girl upbringing.

Yes, yes, NOW I know: “Leaves of three, let them be.”

But if YOU’D seen the mess my backyard was BEFORE I started… you wouldn’t have been counting leaves, either. PLUS: I have a new puppy – Tucker’s new younger sister, Sophie – to look out for, so counting leaves was my last worry.

As a result, I’ve got a wicked poison ivy rash up and down my arms.

Friends suggested Aveeno, which is a terrific product, and also the standard calamine lotion – but the VERY best product out there?

Tecnu. Weird name, great product. The sooner you begin to use it, the better it works.

You apply it to the affected parts of your body (it’s a lotion) – and it actually sucks the oil out of your skin – the oils that cause the rash, and the itch – and rinses them off as you rinse off the lotion.

If you use it once the rash is full-blown, it STILL works: just temporarily. You just use it once a day or so.

This rash is so nasty I’m not even going to photograph it for you – but trust me, this is the absolute best. And, having sensitive skin myself, I’m not hesitating to recommend it for kids.

Run, do not walk, to the nearest drugstore, and pick some up for your family today. For poison oak, ivy, sumac – it simply cannot be beat.

By Erin Ann Kurt

www.erinparenting.com

There are more books, magazines, and websites teaching us about parenting skills than ever – so why are we not all experts already?  The reasons vary.  The books are too long and complicated, the books are contradictory, the ideas of what is good and bad parenting keep changing, and the ideas of how to solve problems are so numerous that when one is faced with a misbehaving child, and emotions are at their peak, it is truly difficult to remember what the book said to do in that very type of situation.

The good news is that there are actually FOUR tricks that work in any situation, every single time!

These four tricks are based on:

• a)     using the right tone of voice
• b)    stating what is needed in the moment
• c)     giving a choices question
• d)    following through with a consequence if needed

Children feel extremely safe when they know what to expect. For example, if your child is in the middle of a tantrum, they are still secretly hoping that you, their parent, will step in and apply a consequence, using a matter-of-fact voice. They will stop the tantrum more quickly because they will begin to relax as soon as they begin experiencing the discipline routine they are so used to.

Children absolutely adore repetition.  Applying the tricks mentioned above is just another repetitive sequence that makes them feel safe and calm.

In contrast, if they hear a soft voice telling them to calm down for 10 minutes or explaining why something they did is wrong, it simply upsets them further. It is a funny phenomenon, but it’s true!

In order to achieve success with discipline, the most important step a parent needs to take before trying to implement these tricks is to get some training.  One needs to understand the nuances of each trick and then feel ultra confident when applying them.

By Erin Ann Kurt

www.erinparenting.com

As parents we all want to raise responsible, respectful and compassionate kids, do we not?  The most common way parents teach these traits is by lecturing when they see their child doing something irresponsible, disrespectful or uncaring.  These lectures unfortunately either fall on deaf ears or are understood for a moment, until another stimuli attracts their attention.

A more proactive, effective approach is to do two things consistently:

1) Read stories that teach lessons and

2) Point out and congratulate your child when you see them doing something you like or are trying to teach.

Reading stories to children that share a message is one of the best ways to subtly encourage positive traits.  Children tend to become immersed in stories they hear or read and therefore want to emulate the characters they so enjoy. The characters, along with you, their parents, are their role models so they will tend to follow what they see.  Most often, the characters in the story are about the child’s own age, therefore it is easier for them to make a connection with the values being taught.

After reading the story to your child you can engage in a conversation about the message – again, being very subtle.  For example, you can say, “The hare sure learned that it is better to be patient, didn’t he?”  What follows is a brief list of some great books that teach a variety of traits or lessons.

1)    Borrowing and returning something in good order – A Bargain for Frances

2)    Unconditional love – I Love you, Stinky Face

3)    Knowing yourself and what makes you happy – Max, The Stubborn Little Wolf

4)    Telling the truth and earning trust – The Boy Who Cried Wolf

5)    Saving and preparing for the future – The Ant and the Grasshopper

Play it Cool… Remember: You WANT them to talk to you.

The time comes – in every parent’s life – when SOMETHING shocking comes out of their kid’s mouth.

Whether it’s the first accidental swear word, or: “Mom, I was at a party and there was <insert illegal substance here>…” there’s that sick, tightening in the stomach, the urge to widen your eyes and yodel: “WHAT THE….!”

Don’t.

Now, all your years of womanhood training, playing it cool, are about to pay off. (You think the universe sent you all those jerks in your life for no reason? The ones you had to act like you didn’t care in front of? THAT was all practice for THIS.)

Stay calm NOW, or you’ll never hear another thing.

That’s not to say there may be no consequences in order, depending on the situation.

But you SO do not want to be that Mom who DOESN’T get the call someday when your child faces that terrible choice: call you, or get into a drunk driver’s car. What do you want your child to be thinking then? Certainly not this:

“I can’t call home. My parents will FREAK.”

Welcome to the new, improved, Inkless Tales for Grownups. Since some have often said – and I don’t just mean Hillary Clinton – that it takes a village to raise a child, I’ve decided – for the first time – to enlist the help of the many, smart moms out there populating the blogoverse, and (with absolute and total credit, of course, since you should be visiting THEIR blogs, too!) collect some of THEIR wisdom and good thoughts here for you to find.

Check it out. Sisterhood is POWERFUL. And MOTHERHOOD? More powerful, still. After all, WE SAY SO.