The wisdom of the do-over
Since I became a mom, one of the most startling things I’ve learned is HOW much I learn from my kids – from the very beginning.
When my oldest, now fifteen, was about five, and I’d get irritated at her, she’d be SO sorry she’d often say: “Mom, can we just have a ‘do-over?’”
By which she meant not so much forget the “crime,” but rather (in her young, unsophisticated, yet unexpectedly wise way)…
“Hey, Mom? Can we just shake off the BS, please, and start fresh? I understand I messed up, and you got your point across, obviously, so is it okay now if YOU stop feeling irritated, and I stop feeling badly, and we move on, feeling more positive?”
It was tough the first few times. For some reason, we all want to hang on to negativity.
But it was a terrific lesson. We use it to this day, when we can. Especially now she’s a teen: best of all? She thought of it herself, so whenever she goes to pout, I can kind of hoist her on her own petard to pull her out of a slump.