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Where no mom has (boldly) gone before…

The Top Ten Things My Kids Would Miss If I Were Abducted By Aliens...

If I were abducted by aliens, I’m not quite sure if I’d be panicked, or if I’d be excited at the idea of a vacation from the responsibilities of motherhood.

I know my kids would not be so thrilled. They’re not even happy when I decide to go to the convenient store by myself.

Below is a list of at least ten things my kids would miss about me, were I to take that Great Vacation in the Sky, where no mom has (boldly) gone before.

  1. When they called out: “Mo-ooom,” there would be an echoing silence. Either that, or someone WAY less patient would respond.
  2. There would be no one on Planet Earth who knew how they REALLY liked their chicken.
  3. Even though they’ve memorized the Burger King menu, there would be no one to remind them what they really want is chicken strips, as they agonize over the choices.
  4. Their rooms would become so crowded with dirty glasses, cups, plates and utensils it would look like they were living inside a dishwasher.
  5. My teenager would be lost without someone to blame for: her angst, the weather, her lack of the very coolest clothes, <insert problem here.>
  6. My youngest would have no one to talk to for hours about Legendary Pokémon.
  7. They might not ever change their sheets; I wonder how many crumbs a set of twin sheets can actually hold
  8. They would have no one to sing the “How Much Do I Love You ” song to them.
  9. Every family has SO many of what we call “location” jokes (you had to be there.) They’d miss those terribly.
  10. They might not miss this, but I would: dragging out their baby pictures for all to see how cute they were.

While this is a funny premise There are a too many kids out there who don’t have moms. For anyone looking for a deeper understanding of what it’s like to grow up without one, I heartily recommend Hope Edelman’s wonderful book: Motherless Daughters.

I also recommend the terrific organizations Big Brothers and Big Sisters. They can help fill a void in a child’s life made by an absent parent.



I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms blogging program, for a gift card worth $25. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

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